My son Noah turned one year old this week and took it upon himself to make some pretty big decisions in his life.

“Enough is enough father,” he said to me as we shared a brandy and a monte cristo at our favourite club, “I’m one now, and some things around here have to change!” And with that he took his socks off and has pointedly refused to put them back on ever since.

It does not seem to matter that even though we are officially in British Summer Time and temperatures are barely above freezing – the socks are still off!

In the morning I will dress the boy, carefully choosing socks that match the rest of his outfit for fear of invoking the wrath of his mother for crimes of fashion. However, by the time I leave the house, place him in his car seat and get into the drivers seat I will turn around and the socks will be off. Not only will they be off but they will be nowhere in sight. There is a possibility that he is eating them! I half expect to turn around one day and see a single sock lolling out the mouth of my child like a labrador’s tongue.

So… solutions? Sock suspenders – too weird. Gaffer tape around the ankles – too cruel. All in one baby gros until he is six years of age – bound to mentally scar him for life.

The answer must be out there. The sooner someone gets on Dragons Den and invents the “Never Come Off Sock” the better! Until then, we will struggle on with bare feet and hope the weather gets better.

Mr Miyagi says, "keep your bloody socks on!"